Shitty email.

by emmalikesandwrites

So, I’ve had a bit of time to myself over the past couple of days and in order to keep what precious little grey matter I posses in good semi-working condition I have to make it jump through hoops.

Thought process as follows (whilst kettle is boiling for a peasant coffee):

What do I like doing?

Partying – Nope, too much of that recently.

Reading – No point reviewing a book whilst mid-way through it.

Getting the night bus – Too cliche.

Pontificating/procrastinating – Not an idea there.

Football – Not for another 10 days (agony)

Eating – Erm, maybe.

Writing shitty emails – BINGO. It’s my favourite thing in the world.

Kettle boiled. Peasant coffee is made. To my desk to make this a thing.

The truth is that I relish composing and sending shitty emails so much, I reckon that I could offer it as a service. If you know me then you know I’m not a shrinking violet but I have never given it to someone who wasn’t jockeying for it. I’m not your average ‘pint and a fight’ sort. I just like things to be fair.

So back to my shitty email service. I’d like it to work as follows:

You provide me with some details i,e company, persons name, their wrong doing, dates of wrong doing, why you’re peeved & what you’d like done and I will basket weave you a beautifully (maybe even poetic, but never abusive) shitty email to said person/company. Standing up for your rights and voicing their wrong doing.

This could work, not everyone is as gobby as me and it would probably make me far less likely to gouge the PMs eyes out at work. Win win really.

If anyone actually wants this doing I would happily oblige, I’m going to start building the one-pager on the internetz tomorrow.

annnnnnnnnd god bless the Google image search which has given me the power to show you what it might look like. Praise be.

Frustrated Woman at Computer With Stack of Paper