OF BENDING OVER BACKWARDS FOR NO APPARENT REASON.

Things keeping me going:

My disco nails

Rainbow!

This guy looks even sadder

Bon Iver

Cheers to the ever so funny Dr down-under Fishwick for some very funny* tag-idge on the ol’ frackbook

*not that funny

In the running for best drink ever?

I expected it to taste like liquid chicken and pure Levi Roots sweat.
Good job tomorrow is Friday innit?

GEEEEET OOOOUUT x

Truth is I like it being a history, in the most self-indulgent way. I can use it to look back over how my writing, my wrongness and my fucking ludicrous attitude have developed, matured and somewhat mellowed from what I was two and a bit years ago. Don’t miss-quote me here I still have many of the passions I did then, they still burn bright. I also have new ones. I’m just not as venomous, unless called for (like that pontificating girl on the bus last night who I called a twat).

Sooooooooooooooooo in summary. No physical clean slate for me. I’m keeping this cracked one because I want it to be a record of things from the beginning of my career, the things I wouldn’t have remembered, but not a gay old diary. I am also fundamentally lazy and like everything in one place. Trust me that won’t change.

Things enjoyed lately – replying to generic company messages:

So today is the big goodbye. A whole carousel of feelings, happy and jealous of the adventure. Sad to be losing my best to the other side of the world. We’ve pretty much been reciprocating wingwomen for the other since we left uni. The shit house crack den in Camden a week after we graduated, the mice, the cold, lurching around the lock, sloshing wine and eating churros, making friends in the Hawley arms. Four pints and down and several more unclassified events that couldn’t possibly be published (pond swim and subsequent events). I’d been in London all of 40 mins and we were sat in Primrose Hill park drinking beers. The president had been set.

I lived in Willesden for a bit after we moved out the crack den and it was crap. We formulate a plan to live east. Old street 28th august 2010, it happened.
“It smells like incest in here”
“you mean incense??”

We proceed to lurch around E1 (mainly the offices of Skive) instead of NW1 and with that we make more friends, do more liver damage, sit in a different park and drink cider and tell more dark jokes. Plus the odd day time rave to mix things up.

I become a dab hand at 30 second photoshop

Gazzy doesn’t help us (too busy eating a fishdog)
Frequent use of the word asshole.

April 2010 – we go to Thailand. Lordy. Summary: fried lizard, delish to bugs, no money no honey, snacks on a plane, lady boy? Probably, Thailands got talent, fish boots, wifi lie, take an image, suspicious, peaking too early, Tina turner is back, fishcrackers, iprawn 4.

The summer is a bit of a blur. Rob had his op and I didn’t do much but be by his side.
Fast forward to August and two gleeful friends present me with my hilarious birthday board, full of all the good times and (bad) banter. It will be on my wall for a long time yet.

I finally manage to get the idiots to come up to my tiny hometown for new years 2010 and with that, comes the end of this.

No sadness now – I want to wish my best friend all the luck I possibly can. I will miss you so so so so so so much. Love yooooooooou Dr Fishwick xxx

What with the massive pressure of Christmas out of the way and heading back to London tomorrow. I can’t help but feel immensely relieved. As always, I’ve been totally spoilt my nearest and dearest and I love them for it whole heartedly. I have however had to come home to a place that echoes of sad memories and things I thought I had dealt with, I have found that I have been deceived and utterly fooled by the vagueness of someone dear and disappointed in the treatment of friends.

Little sister did a fantastic job of hosting yesterday, she was brave and even managed to get us to be quiet for a bit to remember her friend Matthew who drowned in the river by my house 3 days ago after slipping in.

As much as I love seeing everybody, especially my two bests who threw me a fantastic mini party on xmas eve, hailing my return in a slightly over the top fashion (which I loved).

I get a great pang of sadness and a wave of nausea when I dwell on things too much. I must have said the same thing 47 (approx) times in the last two days. Each time, fighting back tears.

La la la laaaaaaaa la la la laaaaaaa
In my head for about two weeks now.

Time sheet for today:

In other news; my mother wrote ‘lol’ in my Christmas card. Dear oh dear.
Urgh, is it time for some liver damage yet?

There is an interesting article on Trend watching about the top 12 (weird number choice but maybe it’ll catch on) consumer trends for 2012. Found it pretty interesting, you should check it out here if you’re brain matter likes those kind of things. It is interesting, but me personally. I like this shizzle